negativeland.

Okay, everyone has probably noticed this, but I'm gonna make it official: Chris is going on the shelf for a little while.

I've sort of lost his voice. Negativeland underwent a massive rewrite, as you know, and I never really got much feedback on it, which meant I wasn't sure what to do with the next draft of the script. As such...there isn't a next draft, and the project has sort of died. The agency I work for hasn't told me a damn thing about it, and they're not exactly talking to me right now either so bleh.

Add that to a lot of personal stuff going on right now - I've just found out that I won't be getting an interview for my expected new job after all and I'll be at the dentist tomorrow - and while I keep intending to write prompts for him, I just haven't had the time. I'm committed to other storylines and characters and it's becoming hard to keep up with everything, to the point where I'm really looking at getting rid of some muses or at least their community memberships. I'm cognizant of the fact that Chris is much adored and I'd rather put him aside than just get rid of him.

If he's needed for anything, let me know and I'll see what I can do, but I think he's gonna have to wait until I have more time to devote for him and some idea of what the hell is going on with him. See you when we see you. :)

We start to fight and can’t get over what was said.

I think even now that we know the truth about what happened on that terrace, Brian and I will always fight. The whole thing started because of that one decision - that one bullet that killed Brandon Dayne - but it's about more than that. He knows now, and I know now, that he saved my life by doing what he did. Traded my life for the kid's, even if he didn't know it at the time. I was wrong, and he was right.

That doesn't mean we change our points of view, however. He still believes in intimidation and aggression, and I don't. I'm a pacifist who will never fire my service weapon in the line of duty if I can help it. If I had the situation to do over again, I'd do it the exact same way, and so would he. Nothing would change. We're too set in our ways. After so long hating each other for one moment...I don't think that either of us would know how to get along if we even wanted to. I think we're just damned to disagree. And neither of us seems to mind.

Why mess with what doesn't work?

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 200

Take your infinite wisdom and shove it up your ass.

Office politics are a strange business. Seniority isn't just about the number of years you've served anymore. Now they just call you old. Now they want to know where you've served and what you've done and how many people you've rung up. It's all B.S. really, because statistics don't change lives.

That's the problem with bureaucracy in law enforcement. It's run like a business. There are no facts and figures. There is no bottom line. It's about helping people. Making people's lives better. If you're not doing that, then you're not doing a damn thing.

You can take your manual and use it to cuddle while I'm out kicking the ass of the people who want to break into your house, steal your stuff, and beat you senseless. How's that for prevailing wisdom?

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 134

I did a fifth draft (second revision) of Negativeland this weekend, and per some critiques, I completely changed the bad guy. Ergo, massive canon changes, as it also explains why Chris and Farrell hate each other so much. As such, Chris's LJ canon is changing too.

There is no Long Beach bombing case and no Richard Jarvis, as amusing as the Shamu jokes are to me. Some of the things that are now canon:

1. Chris's wife, Holly, spent some time with the FBI as a graphic artist at one point, and is now a member of the FBI Reserve (something she conveniently forgot to mention to Chris).

2. Kyle used to be a high school English teacher, before he worked with Chris in L.A. and then accepted a job working with him in Sonoma.

3. Analise is from Texas and came to the SCU specifically to work with Chris.

4. Chris and Farrell go back seven years. They met the year that Chris came from L.A., when they were assigned to the case of 17-year-old Brandon Dayne. Long story short, the kid pulled a gun on Chris, and Farrell shot him to save Chris. Chris believed he could have defused the situation, while Farrell saw him as ungrateful -- hence the feud. (When Dayne's younger brother decides he wants revenge for his brother's death, it's Chris who ends up saving Farrell...while finally saying 'thank you' when he also realizes Brandon would have shot him and he was wrong all along.)

5. Farrell sees Chris as the young upstart because Chris got to Sonoma the year after he did and then proceeded to outshine him. Farrell would prefer Chris get the hell out so he can hold something over him for once.

6. Chris left the L.A. office because he disagreed with its policy shift post-9/11.

April Is The Cruelest Month.

I've never liked April. This is because, for whatever reason, some genius in the FBI administrative structure decided that it would be the month where we do all of our unit performance evaluations and other paperwork. In my opinion, if it's a yearly evaluation, it would make more sense to put it at the end of the year, but then somebody complained that it was around Christmas, and so we moved it to the beginning of the year, but that was too close to New Year's and the post-Christmas hangover, so...

April. They just picked a random month and now it's April. I'm waiting for someone to complain that it's too close to Easter and therefore their kids will be somehow deprived.

I don't like doing performance evaluations. I don't see the point. I'm not convinced anyone actually reads them, and I don't need to document my team's best and worst qualities. Those come out in their work, and in everything that they do. Why should I have to throw it down on a piece of paper that will sit in a file and be largely ignored when I could spend that time making paper airplanes to throw at Farrell's head or something equally as constructive?

It's all a waste of time.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 212

Clever is as clever does.

I've yet to figure out why all the women in the room are smarter than the men.

My wife is definitely smarter than I am. Obviously, given that she puts up with me. She's also very sneaky. I don't know how I didn't notice that she filed the paperwork and got cleared for the FBI Reserve, but she did. Considering she has to take care of me and my moods, on top of her own life, I give her a lot of credit.

Then you've got Farrell's wife. Nancy Farrell is quite obviously smarter than her husband (which isn't that hard to do). I don't remember what she does, but she is a very strong woman (she has to be, to deal with him). We don't know each other that well, but I respect her for being married to that jerk and not having smothered him by now.

Even my therapist -- Julia might be a little nosy, but she's good at what she does. If she wasn't, I wouldn't have given her the time of day, let alone let her into my world. She listens to me and makes sense of what I'm saying. She listens too much to everyone else, but she is a smart woman.

They're all smart woman. Very strong women. I'm fortunate to know all of them. And I'm not sure that they couldn't take all of us on any day.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 236

I want to say thank you for Chris's nomination for Best Written Original Character of the Year (Male). This is a shocker. He's not in a lot of communities, doesn't really RP...I had no idea he was thought so highly of!

Of course, my other muse is up in the same category, so now I feel like a mom on Southwest Airlines. You know that running flight attendant joke: "If you have two kids, decide now which one you love more." Actually that sounds like something Chris would say.

Thanks, guys.

Is there NO filter between your brain and your mouth?

Now where's the fun in that?

No, seriously. If you can't take someone being honest with you, then get out of the way, because I don't believe in censoring myself just to protect somebody else. I'm not going to say something for shock value, but I am going to tell the truth, and if it makes you cry? Then you need to learn to deal with that.

Real life doesn't have a censor either.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 74

Explain why you picked a particular face for your muse. Did you ever consider anyone else? What makes them bring your muse to life?

Chris actually exists because of Andrew McCarthy, not the other way around. It all started in 2001 when I was complaining that Andrew didn't get any really good roles anymore. He's been doing a lot of direct to video stuff and TV shows that are pretty lame, and I was annoyed about it. One of my high school buddies turned to me and said, "Well if you're gonna bitch about it, you might as well write it."

So I did. The character of Chris and the idea of Negativeland was written specifically for Andrew and his talents in both comedy and drama.

A lot of other things in the universe have changed over the last couple of years. The role of David Taylor, Chris's partner, was originally played by Nicholas Lea. I absolutely adore Nick (I've met him), but I decided to go younger with the part and selected someone else I'm fond of, Desmond Harrington, after I saw him hit comedy out of the park with Sons & Daughters. The role of desk agent Vincent Eisen was played by Hank Azaria at first, but then went to my good friend Fred Goss. I discovered it makes Chris's plight seem even more weird if I surrounded him with people who are good at playing straight comedy.

His supporting people have changed, but there's only one Chris Lipton.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 225

Customer service.

It all started with an innocent article in the local paper. One that got dragged into Chris Lipton's office the next morning, while his boss clutched at it like an aghast mother. "What did you do?" he shrieked, and Lipton wondered if maybe he should start slipping Xanex into his boss's coffee.

(If he didn't need it so much himself, he would have.)

As it was, he just cocked his head to look at Brady and said, "I do lots of things. I got up this morning and had a shower and some waffles, and then I came down here and started working on my reports."

"What did you say?" Brady corrected. "Did you tell the news media that they're completely ignorant?"

"I believe my exact words were 'not as observant as I would prefer.'"

"It's the same thing!" his boss continued. "Chris...this is the public. The people that pay into our budgets with their taxes? You can't go out there and tell them that they're ignorant! You can't talk to them like that."

"Why not? That's how a lot of them talk about us," Chris replied, an impassive look on his face. "That's how a lot of people talk about cops these days. They've said a lot worse. Telling people that they need to pay attention in their own lives instead of waiting for someone to do it for them is not like calling them by ethnic slurs. What's more, you know I'm right. You know I am. Because I always am."

"Chris..." Brady scrubbed a hand over his face. "Can you just do me a favor and never, ever talk at another press conference ever again?"

"If that's what makes you happy." Lipton nodded, and watched his beleaguered boss storm off into the next room. He waited until the younger man had left for the smirk to cross his face, and he just shook his head and went back to his paperwork.

Sitting across from him, David Taylor only said, "Well, that's one way to get out of the public eye."

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 345

Soooo.

I sort of got sucked into Season 18 of Law & Order Classic and have to say I've become a fangirl again. (Let's blame Anthony Anderson and Linus Roache, shall we? Okay!)

I know a lot of you are in or know people in the fandom, so I had two questions. First -- how is the best way to get caught up on Season 18? I've only been watching the past few episodes and it seems like the TNT/every other freaking channel reruns are only up to Season 17.

And. I am having an itch to write in the fandom, or at least maybe to try and get some of my OCs active and run them around in the sandbox. Suggestions for the best ways/places to get started? I don't have any particular idea in mind, just that dammit, I want to try and interact with some of these characters, if they're about!

Much love for all the help! Chris will be back as soon as I can come up with a response to the latest TBS prompt that doesn't suck. *meep*

If your muse was in therapy, what would they be in therapy for?

I am in therapy. But not for anything wrong with me.

I'm in therapy because of everything wrong with the rest of the human race.

If people had any common sense, decorum, restraint, education, proper grammar, fashion sense, humility, or a whole list of things I could point out, I wouldn't need to be in therapy. Then we would all be functional human beings and the world would be a better place. But they don't, and we're not, and it isn't. So I see a therapist twice a month.

Don't get me wrong. Dr. Dennington is a very professional and intelligent woman who knows most of what she's talking about. I have no complaints about my therapist, except for that she spends too much time listening to other people about my life. Yet the institution of therapy isn't one that I engage in for leisure. I'm only there to find a way to get through the day. And because it makes everyone around me feel better. I'm not going to be sitting there with a compulsive need to perfectly arrange the couch cushions. I'm taking notes.

Yes, that's right. I take notes during my own therapy sessions. You have a problem with that?

I'm not in therapy for me.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 219

You're alone, and suddenly there is a bright light, and a voice. The voice tells you that you are the Messiah. What next?

I only need to say one word: Finally.

[locked]

No.

Remember when I said I didn't want to be a dictator? I don't want to be God either. The same reasons apply. If I had to be high and mighty, everyone underneath me would eventually drive me insane.

I pretend like I'm self-important, but trust me: I know I'm just a man.

Your average everyday sane psycho super-agent.

[/locked]

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 67

It was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.

It was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.

But there was Farrell, leaning over me when I came to.

I have a reasonably unorthodox method of crimefighting, which is that I will use anything and everything I can get my hands on before I'll pull my service weapon out of its holster. On occasion, that will backfire. Such as when I was playing chicken with a moron driving a Toyota Corolla and lost. It hit my car head on and everything after that went black, until I woke up on the asphalt on the side of the road.

With my archnemesis looking down at me.

"Either I'm dead," I muttered through the haze of head trauma, "or you're about to make some smartass comment."

"Shut up, Chris." Farrell didn't even bat an eyelash. "The ambulance is on its way."

I was figuring that this was some sort of pain-based hallucination, but he wasn't kidding. Two minutes later an ambulance roared onto the scene, and I found myself being carted off to the local ER. Nothing serious, just a concussion, some whiplash, and a few scrapes and bruises. But that wasn't nearly as traumatic as what was unfolding around me.

Farrell ordered one of his agents to ride with me in the ambulance. Then, as they're getting ready to send me off, he came over to me and said, "You're going to be okay. Don't worry about anything. I'll take care of it."

I'm serious. That's what he said.

And that was exactly what he did. This was well before either of us had the teams we do today, so I didn't have Dave or anyone else to lean on. But Farrell stayed at the scene to finish the investigation. He closed the case on my behalf. And when I was enjoying my stay in a hospital recovery room, he came to see me. He was actually concerned with my health. We argued for a moment or two, but I could see in his eyes that he was glad I was okay.

That's the thing about the two of us. We might hate each other's guts, but Brian is a hell of an agent, and so am I. And when it comes down to it, we're on the same side.

But him being nice to me? Still the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 400

"No one appreciates a true psychopathic genius, these days..."

"No one appreciates a true psychopathic genius, these days," Chris remarked as he stepped out of yet another meeting with his boss, this one about how he had convinced a suspect that a photocopier was, in fact, a polygraph machine.

Leaning against the wall, David eyed his partner. "You know, you might help your reputation if you didn't use all the phrases to describe you that everyone else does."

"There's a method to my madness," Chris replied as they walked down the hallway toward the elevators that would take them back to their office. Nonchalantly, he pressed the button to call the elevator, ignoring the look on the younger man's face. "What?"

"What are you talking about?" David asked, eyebrow arched.

Chris just smirked to himself as he leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest in that way which indicated he was about to take someone to school. "Dave, did you ever take any sociology classes in college?"

"A couple." David had a feeling he was going to regret this conversation.

"And did you ever hear of Erving Goffman?" Chris asked. "Erving Goffman did some very interesting research on stigma -- actually, that was the title of his book -- and labels. He talked about how people get labels and what those labels mean. I've got a big label as a loose cannon around here. But that can play to my advantage. If people don't know what I'm capable of, they have no idea what I might do."

As they stepped into the elevator, David honestly smirked. He had to admit that Chris had a very good point. Shaking his head, he glanced at his partner. "And you're just going to milk that for all it's worth, aren't you?"

"Of course I am!" Chris beamed. "I wouldn't be using my maximum potential if I didn't. Brady would be upset."

David snorted. "Only you would take the phrase 'psychopathic genius' as good for productivity."

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 325

Black comedy.

Let me share one of my rules of life with you: it is perfectly acceptable to laugh at someone if they're being stupid. Even if they're being stupid while committing a crime. Especially if they're committing a crime.

Some people tend to think that because I have a sense of humor about my job, that makes me an insensitive bastard. They take offense to the fact that I am capable of laughing at the insanity that is the Special Cases Unit's common denominator. What they just don't get is that yes, I am laughing at them, but how can anyone with any sense of humor whatsoever not laugh at some of the things that I handle?

Let's face it. Burning down a strip mall on accident is funny. An environmental activist who then threatens to blow up the best aquarium in California is so completely nonsensical that it's hilarious. Please. You want to save the animals and yet you have no problem taking out Shamu and a bunch of his closest friends? How exactly does that work?

It's funny. Just because it also happens to be criminal doesn't make it any less funny. And if you can't see the humor in it, may I suggest removing the stick from your ass.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 211

"So presumably they play really loud, really fast and then burst into flames!"

I've seen a lot of strange things in my lifetime. Strange seems to gravitate toward me.

But seeing somebody who managed to burn down an entire strip mall just by screwing around in a furniture store? That's a new one, even for me.

Let me explain: there was a guy who was causing a scene in the furniture store where he was formerly employed. In an effort to be the biggest jackass possible, he turned on all the vibrating chairs. The amount of vibration caused such a motion that it started rattling lamps in the store next door, several of which crashed and caught on fire, which then proceeded to burn down the entire mall.

We were called in just as the whole thing finished burning to the ground. Literally, the entire mall was just ashes and debris. Couldn't salvage a thing. My partner and I stood there and watched the whole thing smolder, the fire department scrambling to put it out. It's one of those things that just makes you shake your head in disbelief.

Everyone assumed that such a freak happening had to be some sort of terrorist attack, or at least, federal case.

Nope.

Stupidity just runneth over.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 201

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but that is not always true...

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but that is not always true.

Farrell leaves and I'm walking on sunshine.

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 22, but he figured everyone got the point.

The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.

OOC: So, I got feedback on my screenplay today. It kind of irritated me, but I'm okay with it. Chris, on the other hand, is not okay with it. I take no responsibility for anything that he says...

I've had a chance to read your "notes". I use air quotes because better critiques have been given by politicians on a bender.

Are you serious?

Wait. Don't answer that. I already know.

( Read more... )

Muse: Chris Lipton
Fandom: Negativeland
Word Count: 508

Since I know there are a few original characters on Chris's flist...I was recently (read: last night) tapped to take over as mod at original_muses and am working on getting the comm up and running. Prompts are up for March. Take a look, and hopefully I'll see you there!